You're Not Alone
by SingleLadiesxoxo
Summary: My first RENT fanfic. After Angel's funeral. Everyone goes their own separate ways and it's up to Mark to bring them all back together.
1. What happened to this family?

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One month. That was all it took. One lonely miserable stinking month with no one to talk to, no one to see, most of all no one to make sure he was doing okay. Roger had left town, without a reason, didn't even give an explanation as to why he left. Mark figured it was because it was all too hard for him…dealing with another death. First April and now Angel. Mimi had gotten with Benny for some bizarre reason, maybe to get him to come back to the friends he once abandoned, whatever the reason was Roger didn't like it. Maureen and Joanne had finally made up and were practically joined to the hip. Collins was…well he was dealing with the loss of his lover, no one had time for Mark anymore and he hated it.

_What happened to this family?_

Mark was pretty sure that Angel was the glue to the group and now that he…she…was gone the group had decided to go their own separate paths. How could Mark call them up and say that he needed them after a whole month? There were so many questions he had to ask them all…but where would he even begin? He understood why Collins was distant to the group. Everyone did. Mark just couldn't understand why the rest of the group would leave him all alone. Most of all why would Roger leave him? They were practically brothers and Mark needed him. He needed his family back, but he didn't have the strength to call them up and ask them to come over to the loft. Would they even want to come back to the loft? After all it held so many memories of Angel and the time that they all had together.

_Could they fix their broken family?_

Without a second thought Mark knew what he had to do. He had to at least try to get them all back. Making his way over to the Cat Scratch Club he scanned each dancer in hopes of finding his best friend's ex girlfriend. He let out a frustrated groan and was about to head out the door when a voice stopped him.

"Mark?" the voice asked.

"Mimi! Oh thank god I've found you! Listen-" he said.

"No. You listen…You think you can just pop back into my life after a month of no contact?" she asked.

"Mimi. You were the one who left to go and live with Benny!" he said.

"So this is my fault?!" she yelled.

"Yes! No! Maybe! I don't know! All I know is that you're off with Benny, Roger's in Santa Fe, Collins is…well he's elsewhere these days and Maureen and Joanne are attached to the hip. I'm alone! I never thought I'd see this family die when the one member keeping us all together died." He said then left, allowing what he'd just said to sink into Mimi's mind.

_One down, three to go._

Who could Mark go to now? He wasn't sure how to approach Collins quite yet and he didn't feel like calling Roger up and having a yelling match with him at that moment in time, so Maureen and Joanne it was. He had a sneaky feeling that he knew where to find them, it was just finding them that was the problem. Making his way over to the Life Café he took a deep breath and walked inside scanning the room for the couple that he was so desperate to talk to. He bit his lip as he approached the pair in the corner of the café.

"Well would you look at who decided to show his face around here!" Maureen said.

"Maureen, I…" he started to say but was cut off by Joanne.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Looking for you both actually." He said.

"Why?" Maureen and Joanne said simultaneously.

"When was the last time you spoke to Mimi? Or Collins? Or Roger? I can tell you that those answers are all the same. After Angel's funeral." He said.

"You didn't mention Benny…" Maureen said.

"Do I even need to mention that piece of scum around here? After everything he did?" he asked.

"He's right Maureen, you know what Benny did." Joanne said as Mark headed out of the café.

_Two down, two to go._

Mark sighed a little, he needed to track Collins down, have a little chat. Maybe this chat would help Collins out as well as Mark. Collins needed his family around him, he just needed to see it, but he was too clouded by grief to see that. This is what Mark was going to do, help Collins see that his family was still there and that they needed each other. As Mark successfully tracked Collins down, he found him by Angel's grave. He approached him causally and spoke very gently to him.

"Collins, hey. Been awhile, hasn't it?" he asked.

"Mark! Where you been?! You haven't been hiding out in the loft have you?" he asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Of course not! Listen I've been trying to round the gang back up, you know so that we could all be together once again-" Mark said.

"Mark. This family died when Angel did, you won't be able to get us all back together." Collins said miserably.

"I can try!" Mark said with all the positivity he could muster at that time before leaving Collins alone, hoping that he'd tried his hardest to get the gang back together.

_Three down, one to go._

Now it was down to the last member…Roger…how was Mark even going to approach his best friend? Should he ring him? Should he wait and see if the rest of the gang somehow decide that they want their family back before calling him? What if Roger doesn't want to be called? Or what if Roger's trying to call him to say he wants to come back home? Shaking his head away from those thoughts he made his way back to the loft where he began to work on his latest film. He knew he should be trying to call Roger, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He had this nagging voice in the back of his head saying _Roger doesn't need you or this family. He's better off in Santa Fe. If he comes back, it'll be for Collins or Mimi._ Mark tried his hardest to ignore that voice in his head as he worked on the film.

Taking a small break from the film, he checked his phone for any messages. Hearing the machine tell Mark that he had two new messages made his ears prick up slightly hoping for one of those messages to be from Roger, telling him that he was okay. After all Roger did promise to call, although he never did. Pressing the play button Mark listened carefully to them.

_Marky, Alexi Darling. When are you going to give us more footage? You need the money, remember? Anyway give us a call. You know the number._

Mark couldn't help but roll his eyes at that message. He didn't have any new footage to give them and even if he did, would it be worth it? He took a deep breath as he waited for the next message to begin, but it never did. It just beeped and that was it. Sighing to himself he settled himself back into working on his film.

By the time that he'd finished working on the film it had gotten dark and Mark didn't even know how long he'd been working on the film, but he was glad to have it finally finished. Looking around the empty loft he let a sigh out. If only Angel could see what had become of the family that she'd left behind. How broken they now were. How desperately they needed each other. Mark knew that Angel was looking down at them all; all he needed to do was talk to Roger. Could he do it before it's too late? Grabbing the phone he began to dial Roger's number. He knew Roger wouldn't pick up so what was the point in doing this? He needed Roger just as badly as he needed Mimi and the others. When he got no answer as predicted he hung up the phone and headed to his bedroom.

The following morning after one of Mark's longest sleeps he awoke to the morning New York traffic, that was his basic alarm clock nowadays, he knew he'd have to pull himself together if he wanted to get Alexi off his back and his family back together again. Taking a deep breath he poured himself a cup of coffee as he went over the events of what he was doing that day.

Give Roger another call.

Phone Alexi and quit.

Every night he dreamt about his family being reunited after the painful one month and every night Roger would just leave just like he had after Angel's funeral. Mark swore to himself that if he had the same dream again he would call Roger out, ask why he left after Angel's funeral and why he leaves in the dream, but part of Mark knew that this was just his way of being worried without even saying a word.

Grabbing his camera Mark took the streets to see what he could find, if there was anything for him to film at all. Really he was hoping to catch Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, Collins, Roger and Benny all together so he could film it and look up and say to Angel 'We're back together. Just as we should be.' But the chances of that actually happening were one in a million. He managed to find some footage to be able to give to Alexi before quitting.

Once he'd given the footage over to Alexi and quit he made his way back to the loft where he found it to be not as empty as he'd left it before he headed out. Could this be it? Was he finally coming home? He had to know. He scanned the loft until his eyes landed on his roommate. He wasn't sure whether to run over to him and pull him into the tightest hug he's ever given him or just stay where he was. So Roger took the first step and ran over to him, pulling him into a hug. Mark hugged him back.

"You said you'd call and you didn't." Mark mumbled.

"I know. I can explain." Roger said.


	2. Reunited

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"Okay. Explain. You left for Santa Fe. Why?" Mark demanded.

"You know why. First it was April, then Angel, who next? Mimi?" Roger asked.

"Why didn't you call?! I need to know why you didn't call!" Mark yelled.

"Because I was afraid that if I called you would tell me…" Roger started.

"Tell you what exactly? That Mimi died? Well I wouldn't have been able to tell you anything! You left, Mimi went off with Benny, and yes I know it still hurts!" Mark said.

"What about Collins? Maureen…" Roger tried.

"Collins was grieving; Maureen and Jo were attached to the hip. So I was left alone! For a month! I wouldn't have minded being left alone for a week, but no one bothered to check up on ANYONE. This family is falling apart!" Mark yelled.

"No one bothered to check up on anyone? I don't understand." Roger asked sounding confused.

"I tried to find them…I did. Yesterday I finally tracked them down and tried to regroup! Collins wasn't having any of it, Mimi…well you know how she is." Mark said making Roger let out a small laugh.

"What about Maureen and Joanne? What did they say?" Roger asked, sounding interested.

"I didn't give them much of a chance to give a 'no' or a 'yes' we called Benny scum and that was as far as we went, really." Mark said, with a small sigh.

Roger bit his lip. "How about you try again? Just don't mention me, okay? I wanna surprise them!" he said excitedly.

Mark rolled his eyes and hugged his best friend once again before leaving.

_Here I go again…will I succeed? What will I say? Can I keep that Roger's back a surprise?_

Mark took his usual route to the Cat Scratch Club and found Benny standing outside, clearly waiting for him.

"Benny…what do I owe this displeasure?" Mark asked.

"You came to see Mimi yesterday. Why?" Benny asked.

"To see if she'd heard from Roger. Also to see if she'd fancy regrouping…" Mark said with a small shrug.

"She hasn't heard from him and she doesn't fancy being part of this family that you're trying to get back together." Benny said.

"What if by regrouping as a family it will help Collins out…you know help him see that he needs us all, that he doesn't have to deal with this alone." Mark suggested.

"I'm listening." Benny said.

"After Mimi's shift ends, just bring her to the loft." Mark said and then left.

_Am I doing the right thing? Talking to Benny? Inviting him back to the loft where he used to be able to call it his home?_

Mark sighed a little as he approached the Life Café; he rolled his eyes at the sight in front of him.

"Well of course, you two would be shoving your tongues down each others fucking throats wouldn't you?" he asked as he folded his arms across his chest as they pulled away not even bothering to glare at him for disturbing him.

"What do you want Mark? We already told you-" Maureen started.

"Actually we didn't tell him anything because he left before we could say a word." Joanne said, sounding annoyed.

"Look, yesterday…I was just trying to see if there was any hope in bring back the group." He said.

"How can we without…" Maureen said, not wanting to say anything else.

"Angel? I know. She was the glue to this group. Do you remember what Collins said? She helped us believe in love, now I know this group won't be EXACTLY the same as it once was, but I'm hoping it can be better." Mark said.

"How?" Joanne asked curiously.

"Just show up at the loft tonight and all will be revealed then." Mark said with a small smirk as he left them with confused looks.

_What do I have to gain from all of this pain? A family? What if they ditch me again if one of them dies?_

Mark sighed as all he had to convince Collins to come back to the loft. He knew this wasn't going to be as straight forward as he'd hoped, but right now, he was taking anything he could.

"Mark…Let me guess. You spoke to everyone and they're all on board for giving this family another chance?" Collins asked.

"I did speak to everyone…well apart from Roger; he seems to be avoiding phone calls I guess." Mark said with a slight shrug.

Collins gave him a quizzical look, as if he was trying to work out what Mark was up to.

"Well you know Roger, if he doesn't want to answer his phone, he won't. Just leave him be." Collins said.

"I can't. He's part of this family. We need him Collins. If you hear from him swing by the loft, if not, why don't you swing by anyway tonight, for old time's sake?" Mark suggested and then left, hoping he'd done what he could to get everyone to come back together.

_Is this going to work? Have I done enough without giving the plan away?_

Mark headed back to the loft and began working on his film, trying to add the finishing touches to it before that evening. He looked around the loft and saw it to be just as empty as it had before Roger arrived back in town unannounced. Mark figured that Roger had hidden all of his stuff as to not give anything away. Roger usually spent a lot of his time up on the roof, where he could see who was coming towards their little block of flats.

When it came towards the end of the evening when Mimi's shift was just about to end. Roger went over the plan again.

"You'll lead everyone up to the roof; you'll start to explain why you made them come up there in the cold…" Roger said as he tried to keep a straight face.

"Then you'll run up here, call me some name and bring everyone back down to the loft." Mark said with a small grin.

"Do you think we can pull it off?" Roger asked.

"Of course. Now into positions." He ordered, making Roger run out of the loft.

"I don't see why we have to go to the loft!" Maureen complained.

"Because Mark wanted us to be there, remember?" Joanne asked.

"Mimi?" Maureen asked as she approached the Latina.

"Maureen! Joanne! W-what are you guys doing here?" Mimi asked, sounding confused.

"What are we doing here? What are you doing here with the bulldog?" Maureen asked.

Collins let out a laugh as he watched Mimi, Maureen and Joanne all try and work out why they were all here.

"Mark! Why are we up here?! In the freezing cold?!" Maureen whined.

"Because-!" he started but was cut off when he heard an all too familiar voice.

"He's a jackass! He wanted you all to be cold, because he's mean and…why don't we continue this downstairs?" Roger asked, surprising everyone.

Once everyone was in the loft, they all started talking to one another as if they hadn't abandoned each other for a month.

"ROGER!" Maureen yelled as she threw her arms around him.

"Maureen! I gotta say, I missed you." Roger said as he hugged her back.

"Mark…why did you call us all over here?" Mimi asked.

"Okay. It's time for a confession!" Mark said, making Roger's eyes go wide in surprise.

"Mark, really…we all knew you were gay!" Roger joked, making everyone else laugh.

"Funny. Look this past month…it's been hard on all of us; losing Angel…I called you all over here, for Collins. He needs this family back to how it should be." Mark said as Roger looked away, feeling guilty.

"Why are you only just returning now Rog? Hmmm?" Maureen asked.

"I wanted to come back sooner, believe me…I did. But there was this voice in the back of my head… '_You don't want to watch me die_' and maybe it was selfish of me, Mimi…but I didn't want to get a phone call from Mark or anyone else, saying that you died, because of me. Because I left." He said.

"Roger…" Mimi said softly.

"I should've stayed! Maybe if I had this family wouldn't be needed to be brought back together." He said.

"You can't blame yourself for this, Roger. We all just got caught up in trying to handle our grief in our own ways." Joanne said.

"How well did handling the grief in your own ways get you? Hmm? Nowhere. You all NEED each other and the sooner you all accept that, the sooner you all can get back to being this family again." Benny said for the first time.

"Benny…you're a part of this family." Mimi said.

"Meems…do you remember what you said to Roger after Angel's funeral?" Mark asked.

Mimi looked away; she didn't want to be reminded of those words that she's said.

"Mark please. I don't want to be reminded of that day…" she said as she felt tears begin to flood her eyes.

"Let me remind you. '_Run away, hit the road, don't commit, you're full of shit!_' right Meems?" Roger asked.

Mimi felt the tears run down her cheeks as he spoke those words. She couldn't believe he would actually say her words back to her.

"Roger!" she said.

"I'm not mad at you for saying it Mimi. You were right. When life gets too hard I run. The amount of times Mark's had to suffer with my 'I'm leaving' time and time again." He said with a small chuckle.

"Are we going on a trip down memory lane?" Collins asked.

"Yeah, I guess we are. Do you have anything for us?" Mark asked.

"Oh I have a few…but where to begin?" Collins asked with a chuckle.

"How about…" Mimi began to ask then whispered the rest into his ear, making him nod.

"How about when Benny tried to get us to convince Maureen to cancel that protest, in exchange for us living here for free?" Roger asked.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Maureen yelled glaring at Benny.

"What did I say to you, boys?" Benny asked as Roger and Mark glanced at each other.

"What was it again? _'You want to produce films and write songs? You need somewhere to do it! It's what we used to dream about, think twice before you pooh-pooh it' _yeah we got it, thanks for the reminder." Roger said.

"I'll say this reunion went pretty well, wouldn't you?" Joanne asked.

"Yeah. So are we a family?" Collins asked.

"We'll think about it…" They mumbled.

_Even though the reunion went well. Mark knew that there was something holding each of them back from accepting being part of the family once again. Perhaps he could give them some time and see where life takes them from there._


End file.
